Indy Mac. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Bear Stearns. With a company like Merrill Lynch & Co recently reporting a much larger-than-expected $4.89 billion loss in just one quarter, I figured I'd better get in line now.

You see, I have several thousand dollars in credit card debt due mostly to medical bills. All I want to know is where do I sign up for my government bailout? What I'm asking for is a mere drop in the bucket compared to the billions of dollars recieved by the airline industry or other private businesses that can't hack it. I figured, small businesses don't get handouts when they fail simply because they don't sign up for one. I guess the giant corporations do.

I just want to get my fair share before the bucket is dry.